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3 Truths You Should Know When Just Beginning Your Self-Love Journey

"I am just now starting my self-love journey where do I begin?"

I often get this question from women who are just beginning their own journey or as I like to say their “rediscovery” of self-love. I say rediscovery because I believe we loved ourselves as children. We loved ourselves a lot but it wasn’t necessarily anything we thought about. It was just something we did naturally.

During our process of “growing up” and becoming adults we seem to loose this natural action of loving ourselves.

This act of loving ourselves is really composed of many actions.

It gets drowned out by the television shows, the magazines, and the negative energy eaters in our lives. Yes I said negative energy eaters, I know you have someone in your life who sucks your energy any time you are around them, but that’s for another blog post.

So if you are just beginning your self-love journey I have 3 truths I believe you should know.

1. Self-love is continuous.

 You start, you may stop and then you start again. As you go through different phases of your life you will have challenges that pop up on your journey that challenge how much you love yourself. These challenges can be seen as learning lessons. It’s like defeating an evil villain in a video game and winning gold coins and then being boosted to another level.

For instance, let’s pretend you are single and really doing a great job of loving yourself. You meet what seems to be an amazing guy and then you both end up in a relationship. Turns out this amazing guy was really a fuck boy (he’s really shitty and treats you like dirt but was very charming in the beginning).

You now have the choice, stay with said fuck boy or love yourself enough to leave. Some choose to stay, but in order to grow to that next level leaving would be the better option.

2. Self-love = 10% thoughts + 30% words +60% action

In the above equation you see that action is the larger majority of what makes up self-love. I am a firm believer in action, action, action as the real proof of self-love. In case you have trouble getting to the “action” end of the equation, start with your thoughts.

Think nice uplifting thoughts about yourself. Then I want you to speak these nice thoughts to yourself using your words. This mixture of thoughts and words will be the major influence in your actions.

Your thoughts and your words influence your subconscious mind.

The subconscious mind is that part of your mind you may not notice all the time. For instance, you have a favorite color but you may not really understand why that's your favorite color. Somehow at some point in life you were influenced to have that color as your favorite color.

I want you to view your thoughts and words as influencers to your actions. They are working together for the bigger purpose of changing your actions to self-loving actions.

3 .Self-Love is more than manicures and pedicures

Many people think self-love is going to go get a pedicure, getting a massage or simply writing some good things about yourself on paper.

While these are some self-love actions, self-love is not ONLY this. Self–love takes time and discipline and you may even piss some people off during your journey because you are loving yourself.

Self-love includes taking your ass to the gym when you don’t want to, saying no to that soda and getting water instead, eating green salad because you know it’s healthier, telling people you love "no" even when you would like to help them but doing for them compromises your own happiness, joy and state of blissful living.

Sometimes you will have to make some tough selfish ass decisions because you love yourself and that is okay. You have to make sure you are good first. 

Self-love is taking time out of your day to give back to yourself and this is a wonderful thing.

Knowing these 3 truths will set you on the right track on your journey.

Which one of these truths was the hardest for you to swallow? Let me know and comment below.

Also please share my article, by clicking one of the buttons below.

Your share can help another woman begin to selfishly love herself again.


P.S. If you are currently dealing with a fuck boy and or just starting your self-love journey you need this e-guide below. Click the image to check it out.

Author: Vanessa White aka @OlanikeeOsi aka Self-Love Empowerment Manifestor aka Head #SelfishBabe
Vanessa is the CEO & Founder of Goddess Detox, author and self-love influencer.She likes to call herself a self-love manifestor, teaching women around the world manifest self-love in their everyday lives. She wants women to selfishly and authentically love themselves. If you are just now starting your self-love journey, check out her 5 Step Self-Love Ritual E-Guide here. You can follow her on Instagram, Youtube and Snapchat @OlanikeeOsi. Check out her latest book "The Power of Looking at Your Yoni" here.


  • Absolutely love this, there have been many things in my life that have directed me to start this journey. I think being sent this email was a sign from the universe that it is time for me to start loving myself. I admire your work, i think its beautiful how much positivity you are spreading i feel your good energy. ❤️❤️ Much love

  • I’m at the start of my self-love journey & I can truly say telling people NO is a hard one for me to swallow. I always put other people before me but now I’m putting my foot down & becoming a selfishbabe! I’m so ready to get back to loving myself I’m excited !

  • I definitely cried after reading step 2. Thanks so much! I love this?

    Charnelle Lopez
  • They all are difficult for me at the moment. Just starting and noticing that I don’t love my self enough by mostly wasting my time on people I think care about or even has the same heart. Right now I’m just hurt BROKEN hearted and trying to find my way back to me.

  • The first and the last topics have been two of the hardest things that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve recently been challenged on self-love and saying no to loved ones but as I have chosen myself I am understanding why I should choose me. I’m grateful for my experiences because they are showing me how to love myself more than I already do. Thank you sharing!


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